Dibs

Dear Frank: My sister called “dibs” on the big bed, but I’m the bigger dog. Don’t you think it just makes more logistical sense that I get the big bed?
Sincerely, Anna in Vegas

Dear Anna: Sorry. Dibs is dibs.
From,
Frank

Behind the Couch

Dear Frank: Is it true that what happens behind the couch, stays behind the couch?
Sincerely, Rosie in Springfield

Dear Rosie: Yes. It happened. It only happened there. And no one else needs to know about it.
From,
Frank

Snuggling Now

Dear Frank: We’ve been watching the debates lately…what do you think it’s going to take to make this nation great again?
Sincerely, Brody and Bailey in Texas

Dear Brody and Bailey: Snuggling. It’s what the nation needs now.
From,
Frank

Rudimentary Sniffers

Dear Frank: Why do the humans always stick me in the bath tub when I finally get my scent just right? As soon as I soak up enough of the dirty laundry and outside smells I get plopped it the tub!
Sincerely, Olive in Oregon

Dear Olive: Human’s noses are less refined than ours and they aren’t able appreciate the finer smells in life like we can. You might smell like the most amazing pair of dirty gym shorts, but your human’s poor, rudimentary sniffer isn’t going to agree. So, give into the lavender, oatmeal bath. It’s not your human’s fault.
From,
Frank

Counter Food

Dear Frank: It is okay to eat the hotdog buns sitting on the kitchen counter?
Sincerely, Hungry in Highland

Dear Hungry: Yes. Food left on the counter is technically in the public domain.
From,
Frank