Winner Gets the Dead Bug.

Dear Frank: Can you settle a debate between me and my brother Knuckles (he is the ugly one in the picture). We've created a game of trying to develop the most annoying personal habit we can think of. I insist on licking my dad for at least 30-40 minutes every night right as he starts to fall asleep and Knuckles sits with his head in the corner and whines for no reason, sometimes for upwards of an hour, it's pretty funny.  Please tell us who you think won (winner gets to eat the dead bug under the recliner we have been saving).
Sincerely, Brownie and Knuckles in Oregon

Dear B&K: Hmmm, this is a close one. Both tactics span a similar time length and do a good job of focusing on one specific annoyance. The tie breaker for me was that your human can stop Brownie from licking without much effort, but your human must get out of bed and potentially turn on the light to look around for what Knuckles is whining about - which is much more annoying. Knuckles the dead bug is yours! Congrats.