Dear Frank: Is Santa real? And will he bring me presents? I have been a good boy.
Sincerely, Max in Indiana
Dear Max: Of course, Santa is real. He scares the crap out of me every year when he comes down the chimney, right as I'm falling asleep. And I'm sure there is a present in his bag with your name on it.
Fair warning, don't eat his cookies. This makes him...irritable.