Christmas Crotch Sniffing

Dear Frank: Why do all the human guests at Christmas time always get mad when I sniff their crotches?
Sincerely, huskysrcuddly on YouTube (aka, Nosy Hound)

Dear huskysrcuddly: Humans exchange hand shakes instead of crotch sniffs for their hellos. I don't get it either. I mean, how much can a hand shake really tell you about a person?! Humans just aren't used to really personal hellos, so crotch sniffing puts them out of their comfort zone. But look, as head of household security, you and I know it's a necessary precaution to sniff all guest crotches. So, ignore the sideways stares and sniff away, my friend. You just can't be too careful these days.