New Year Resolution Fail

Dear Frank: Each year I make a New Year's Resolution - stop peeing on the flowers, take more walks, eat fewer cat turds - and every year I don't keep it. How can I make a New Year's Resolution that I will keep?
Sincerely, Resolution Fail in Rutland

Dear Resolution: How about I resolving to poop every day? If you can't keep that one, I'm worried about you.