I Do Bad Things.

Dear Frank: I love to do bad things. And I don't even have a good reason why...other than it's really, really fun. My human isn't too happy about all this. How do I combat my love of doing bad things?
Sincerely, Addie in Indiana

Dear Addie: Doing bad things is fun. I get it. Been there myself. The unfortunate part about doing bad things is that it doesn't make your human happy. Don't worry, there is a solution. The key to doing naughty things and keeping your human smiling is "Brilliant Naughtiness". "Brilliant Naughtiness" is when the bad thing you do is so random and hilarious that your human can't help but just laugh and marvel in your "Brilliant Naughtiness".

Here are a few of my favorite examples:

  • Put every blanket and pillow in the house on the floor...literally every single one.
  • Hug the toilet with all four legs while drinking from it.
  • Shred your stuffed animals so fast that they give you another and get out a stop watch

Basically, if you can make your human laugh, you can watch discipline fly out the window. But please note, any naughtiness should be used sparingly. Being naughty frequently, even if done brilliantly, won't keep your human laughing for long.