Take me to Donut Land

Dear Frank: My human leaves at night to go to a place called "The Land of Donuts". It's sounds yummy! But she never takes me when I try to follow her. Why?
Sincerely, Donut Dog in Georgia

Dear Donut: It sounds like you have been a victim of hair discrimination. Hair discrimination is very prevalent in places that make foods, like Donut Land. I have a dream that dogs will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the number of hairs on their body, but we're just not there today. So, in the meantime, I've found you a place to buy a full body hair net: www.doggyhairnets.com. And if that doesn't work...maybe your human could just bring you home a donut.
From,
Frank