Key to the City

Dear Frank: Do you ever wonder when the Mayor gives away the key to the city, what it opens?
Sincerely, Lady in California

Dear Lady: I have actually given this much thought. And I've come to the conclusion that the key opens the door to all backyards in the city. So, you can go outside whenever you want to...and then inside....then outside....then inside....then outside. Man, I want a key to the city.