Dear Frank: I've read all your advice about fart-free snuggling and I've gotten much better! My humans have been smiling! But recently my breath has been really stinky and my humans have started pushing me away when I try to snuggle. What should I do?
Sincerely, Mouth Breather in Indiana
Dear Mouth: Butt breath happens. Don’t worry, there is a solution. Do these things in this order to turn your butt breath back into mouth breath.
- Snuggle butt first (Just until your breath smells better than your butt)
- Eat grass (Grass fixes everything)
- Have a friend lick your mouth (Things could get weird)
- Eat an apple (It’s like giving your mouth a bath…an apple bath)
- Eat more grass (See number 2)
Repeat as necessary. Then turn that snuggle back around.